HUMOUR REQUIRED

When one is dealing with serious matters it is necessary to seek out moments of humour. Twenty-three years of being involved with toxic contamination of Elmira's air, water and soil could suck the humour and appreciation thereof, right out of a person. Therefore in that light I wish to share some following comments with you.

Hardy Wong was the name of the Director of the M.O.E. West Central Region. Hardy was perceived as having sold out the residents of Elmira. He became known as Hardly ever Wrong.

Pump and Treat technology was quickly renamed Pump and Dump by APT Environment back in the very early 90's.

UPAC or Uniroyal Public Advisory Committee was renamed Uniroyal Pollution Appreciation Club by Glenys McMullen of APTE also in the early 90's.

Richard Clausi in explaining how he and I obtained photographs of semi-buried 45 gallon drums on Varnicolor's Lot 91, without trespassing, claimed that we used APTE's Full Aerial Response Team or FART for short.

David Ash of Uniroyal decided that an embarassing incident of alleged misrepresentation of another expert's work by a consulting firm working for Uniroyal required Uniroyal to sever their professional ties with them. Hence David Ash advised UPAC that so and so had been "consolidated". Poor old David Ash himself was then "consolidated" a few years later after another fire at Uniroyal.

Susan Bryant coined the phrase "phantom" mound to describe a non existent hydraulic high or hydraulic mound that CRA used for years to claim on-site hydraulic containment.

Then of course who could forget when the Ministry of the Energy and the Ministry of the Environment were combined into one ministry namely the M.O.E.E.. It was so much fun referring to them from that point on as the Ministry of Errors and Excuses.

Last but not least was my good humoured portrayal of Conestoga Rovers and Associates. We were always being presented with their plans or programs. Hence I would refer to it as Conestoga Rovers & Associates Plan or CRAP for short.